scared to death

my grades are coming up next week and i seriously don't know what the fuck to do, i failed 5 subject and my parents are definitely going to kill me, so i might as well commit suicide.
i don't know what to do, its all so hard and complicating and no one really understands.

hangover

i went to a party last night!! it was pretty boring at the beginning but once i got into alcohol it was awesome, i got so drunk i ended up making out with the cutest guy in the party, the bad thing is i have a long distance relationship so i kind of cheated on him (erik) but it was okay because he didn`t mind at all!! so are still together, very happy but very far away which is the only part of our relationship that sucks. Anyway, i got so drunk i seriously don't remember WTF i did las night. But by the sound of what my friends tell me sounded like i had a very fun night.

Amazing crush!!

OMG!! you guys just won't believe what happened to me today, the hottest guy in the whole world is now single!! and i really think i can get him to go out with me, i have been secretly in love with him from the moment i saw those big brown eyes of his, the bad news is that my BEST FRIEND is also in love with him so i don't know i to make a move or not because theres not only that, he is also my other best friend`s EX-BOYFRIEND!! so i don't know if i should go for it or not because i may loose both my BF`S, and though that is a risk I'm willing to take in order to get the love of my life, I'm still not sure if it would be worth it.

I am really into this guy and that just makes a lot more difficult for me to make a choice between my friends and him. I am not sure what I'm going to do, i just hope i do the right thing because i don't want to loose any of my friends but i don't want to loose the opportunity to have the best boyfriend ever either, so you know I'm in a really big dilemma right now, but ill sort it out eventually. Either way this is definitely an AMAZING CRUSH!!

brand new me

Ive decided that this year I'm going to change into better, more popular and DEFINITELY not an outcast. I mean is not that i mind being one because sometimes its actually better because nobody really cares about what you do so whatever goes wrong doesn't really matter because nobody even noticed. But still it'd be nice to be that girl everyone talks about, that girl who everyone wants to be like, that kind of girl who everyone envies. But who am i kidding? that`s never going to happen. But well, you know, we are all allowed to dream, thats one of the few thing I'm actually allowed to do. I am still going to try and change though because its really getting old all the "hey! there goes that weirdo in my class!!" its really getting annoying and if i don't do something about it soon i really think I'm going to STRIKE!! really bad!!

But what else is there to say? rather than the fact that no one really has any expectations of my life. Not even i do, but there is one thing, a really good thing. I do have lots of boys chasing after me, there`s this kid named Julian, the other one Carlos, Jos and I'm not sure but i think a boy in my class who's always bothering me actually likes me, he's name is Edward. Don't think that he's the "Edward Cullen" of my school he's actually not that cute but you know, he's definitely not ugly. Even though he's always getting at me but i think he does it to hide his real feelings for me, i mean he's always declaring his "fake" love to me but in a really weird twisted way I THINK HE DOES MEAN IT.

New day, new start

I know what you must be thinking, "WTF is wrong with this girl? writing entries every 5seconds" but the thing is i thought my first entry was kind of depressing and thats not the image i want to give because thats not me, i just got carried away i guess. So who am i really? well...Im complicating. I can be the most outgoing girl in this world when I'm with my friends but when it comes to people i don't get along with I'm really shy. Also i get stressed very often, to be honest ALL THE TIME, but i mean think about it, with a mother who never lets go, who's overprotective and lets me do nothing, what do you expect? Thats the main reason why i HATE her and why I'm "always" in a bd mood (according to her). Though i really wish i could change that shy side of me and the stressed one too, because is really annoying and uncomfortable to be feeling scared and misunderstood all the time, but anyway enough with the depression. Lets get cheerful! I have never had a blog before so i really don't know how it works as you must have noticed already so if anyone reading has any tips on how to make my blog better and more popular please let me know.

Today is a very happy special day because i finally got my BRAND NEW MACBOOKPRO!! which is where I'm writing from, but you guys don't need to read my show-offs so i guess this is it for today (but i wouldn't be so sure).

A change in my life

This is my first entry, so I'm going to tell you a little bit about myself. At school I am nothing more than the outcast of my class, I am in 10th grade and I really thought things would be looking up now that I am in high school but to be honest they only got worse. I have no idea how I`ve been managing to get through this year without my friends. Sometimes being an outsider is actually harder than being normal because you have to be prepared to be the most bullied girl at school and everywhere else. I don't know if any of you guys are going through the same "problem" as I am, but if you are then you`ll understand how difficult it is to be yourself when that means that no one will ever like you.

But that`s not everything that`s wrong in my life, I know this must be really depressing but is really not that bad. My family is obsessed with PERFECTION and I am the exact opposite. My older sister though, fits perfectly with my parents expectations, and that`s really annoying because they`re always comparing me with her, and of course for every one good thing I have she`s got a million better.

I hope you guys like my blog even if it wasn`t very cheerful, but hey! even by the name you should have guessed that it wasn't going to be. Anyway please let me know what you think about my blog.